


Remember Me, My Love

by agatfulne



Series: Barriss and Ahsoka Universe [1]
Category: Star Wars Prequel Trilogy, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: F/F, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Implied/Referenced Torture, Nudity, barrisoka - Freeform, barrissoka
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-16
Updated: 2020-11-28
Packaged: 2021-03-09 20:00:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,964
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27591713
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/agatfulne/pseuds/agatfulne
Summary: Ahsoka Tano and Barriss Offee have a secret relationship within Coruscant’s Jedi temple, but all is discovered when Barriss is kidnapped and tortured and eventually loses her memory.Ahsoka finds herself in the situation of leaving the temple to care for the woman she loves so much, even though she knows she can never have her whole again.
Relationships: Barriss Offee & Ahsoka Tano, Barriss Offee/Ahsoka Tano
Series: Barriss and Ahsoka Universe [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2043001
Comments: 11
Kudos: 39





	1. Part one

**Author's Note:**

> hey.  
> first of all I would like to warn you that english is not my mother tongue and that there are likely to be mistakes here.  
> i apologize for every one of them.  
> now, i want to make it clear that the characters are the same age and are no longer padawans in the temple, the universe is set in a scenario that did not occur the war and that the jedi continue as "peacekeepers".  
> please read the tags, i really don’t want to bother anyone.  
> that fanfic will have only three chapters and maybe an extra one.  
> i hope you like it.
> 
> for more gay content follow me on tumblr: galaxyoffee

The sun’s rays began to appear from the bedroom window, Ahsoka was the first to wake up, she realized that Barriss was still with her head on her chest and smiled kissing her hair.

Ahsoka managed to put Barriss' head on the pillow to get out of bed and then started looking for her own clothes that were lying on the floor, when she finished dressing and was putting the sleeve that should be the communicator heard a small grumble in the middle of the sheets.

When the pair of blue eyes opened, they were lazy and bright, she kept looking at the window that showed the light of day and the figure of the togruta pressing the buttons of the sleeve.

"Good morning." Mirialan finally said sitting on the bed and leaning her hand on her own cheek when she noticed the lack of clothes on her body and saw the dress lying on the floor, said nothing about it but smiled remembering the night before.

"It is still early." Soka said checking if the boot was firm enough. "You can continue sleeping."

"No... I..." she left the coverings lazily and picked up a panty that was nearby. "I will get up now."

Barriss stood up completely and Ahsoka appreciated the sight of the girlfriend dressing in silence and approached only to climb the zipper of the dress, molding her body with her hands and feeling increasingly vulnerable to touch, so much so that Barriss' head tumbled back, Soka held the laugh and then said:

"Come, you better wash your face."

They walked down the hall in silence, as it was still early there was hardly anyone there, and they were about to enter the elevator when they heard a known voice.

"Ahsoka." Anakin’s calm voice made them both look at the side of the corridor he was walking in, he approached in silence and with a smile in the corner of his mouth and greeted the other girl. "Barriss."

As the two remained silent, he pressed the elevator button and as they were descending the floors, Anakin opened his mouth once more.

"Barriss, Master Luminara has some information for you. Something like a humanitarian mission."

"Oh, thank you for informing me, Master Skywalker... so I must go to the conference room." she pressed the elevator button to stop on the next floor and when she did she left. "Have a good day, Master Skywalker... You too Ahsoka."

Ahsoka was so quiet that she only smiled and waved as the doors closed again.

"Ah, Snips." he looked in his pocket for something. "Yesterday I looked for you, but I just found your communicator." delivered the object with the same smile as before. "Don’t forget about it."

"Thank you, master."

Soka replied calmly, even though she was no longer a Padawan, she did not lose the habit of calling Anakin Master, just as he had not lost the habit of calling her Snips.

"Anytime."

The remainder of the day was summed up between Ahsoka trying to focus on her tasks with the younglings at the temple and Anakin watching her to try to catch some escape from the activities, they did not see the rest of the day, so when the togruta said goodbye with the excuse that she was going to rest, she turned around and entered the corridor that would lead to the place she knew very well.

Barriss walked back and forth in the room when she heard a knock on the door, she just reached out for the entrance to be released.

"Hello, my love." Ahsoka entered the place smiling. "What are you doing?"

"Master Luminara asked me to bring some herbs from Mirial to Kashyyyk, in case the Wookies aren’t comfortable with the medication we are taking." she wrapped some glass pots in a soft fabric and put them inside the backpack.

"So Anakin was telling the truth?" raised her eyebrows as she watched the mirialan walk around the room, organizing for the next day.

"Yes." she approached near where Ahsoka was leaning against the wall and touched her nose with her fingertip. "Why would he lie?"

"I have no idea." Soka put her hands on Barriss' waist. "Sometimes I can’t decipher Anakin."

Mirialan kissed the togruta’s mouth for a brief moment and re-organized the room.

"Do you want to spend the night here?" Barriss asked naturally, Ahsoka tilted her head to the side.

"I can’t." Frowned her lips. "I’ve been spending a lot of time here and tomorrow you’re going to leave early for the mission and let’s just say when I sleep here you get a little lazy."

Barriss put her hand on her waist ready to rebut the accusation, but upon seeing the smile on Ahsoka’s lips and raised eyebrow she agreed and entered the bathroom.

The tgruta looked out the window, the people of the temple had already retreated to the rooms, looked up and saw that the night had few stars, the cold wind shivered the skin, for a moment a feeling of fear passed through her heart, she closed her eyes to feel Barriss' hands touching her arms.

"You have to go now, don’t you?"

"Yes, it could not take longer than that." Soka turned to find the face of mirialan. "But we will see you when you return."

"I will miss you." Barriss whispered.

Ahsoka held the girlfriend’s face with both hands and kisses her lips as carefully as if the contact were to hurt her, they smiled between mouth movements, so Soka kissed Barriss' cheek green and finally her forehead before climbing out the window into her own room.

The Padawans were lined up in the outer courtyard, the lightsabers of varying colors swayed in the air to the sound of the voice of the togruta. Each word went out with difficulty, since the teacher was still having the same bad feeling since the night she saw Barriss for the last time, but she would not let that influence her task.

"Again." said walking in front of the children. "Right, left, up, down, fighting position."

"Young, Ahsoka."

All the Padawans stopped their movements when they heard the sound of the voice of the old Master Yoda who was approaching walking with the usual staff, he greeted them all and turned to Soka.

"In the meeting room, expected you are."

"Has something happened, Master Yoda?"

"Find out there, you will... Take care of the rest of the Padawans' training, I will."

Ahsoka wanted to inquire a little more, but she only followed her way to where she was told and when she opened the door she found Obi-wan, Anakin and a hologram of Master Luminara, she looked tired, her face had a sick color and her clothes were dirty. When they saw her presence there they restarted the message.

_"Master Kenobi. About three days ago our medical base was invaded by pirates, they murdered many of our patients and many of the Wookiees who were here for our protection. We have no news of Barriss Offee who offered cover so that me and two other Wookies could get into a safe place. I’m sending you the coordinates of our location. I hope the transmission is not interrupted. I hope someone can help us..."_

The Master said something else, but the transmission stopped at that moment. Ahsoka just stared at the spot where Luminara’s face once stood.

Then she remembered: _Barriss._

"We received the coordinates and have a clue where Barriss might be." Obi-wan said and as always, Anakin completed the information.

"Informants sent the coordinates of a pirate ship in the Outer Rim, two planets after Kashyyyk that may have Barriss on board." as Ahsoka answered nothing, he continued. "We send a squadron directly to the rescue of Luminara and the three of us are responsible for the pirate ship."

"Do you think you can help us in this situation, Ahsoka?"

Her head was spinning, the voices made no sense, but somehow she was able to respond with a nod and the three left the room going straight to a spaceship in the temple hangar.

Obi-wan would have tried to connect with the ship before Anakin sealed the passage without first asking and Ahsoka would have surrounded the ship’s door with the lightsaber.

"Obi-wan and I have taken the north and south wing in search of pirates and some useful information. Snips, scan showed that the ship has cells in aisle seven, search for it and search every door." Skywalker spoke quickly before they broke up. 

Ahsoka would have followed his old master’s orders if he hadn’t still had that feeling of fear tearing her heart.

She had to rely on the force and let it guide her to a different corridor than Anakin had talked about and the further along the dark corridor, the more she felt something was very wrong. In the distance she heard a metallic noise and then opened the door finding pirates Weequay holding weapons and probing something in the noisy machine, Ahsoka dilated her nostrils and activated the two lightsabers advancing, in a jump she tore off the head of three of them, broke one in half and felt something behind his back and leaned back spinning the lightsaber directly into the body of the one who was about to shoot with the Laster. There was only one left on the ground, and the togruta got up and put the plasma from the gun right next to his throat before asking:

"Where is she?"

He pointed to the next door and tried to say something, but the saber went through his throat and tore his head off in a clean motion.

Still with the guns on, she went through the lock which caused the door to spark and open in two, plus the front was another pirate, he didn’t even get a chance to turn around before Ahsoka pulled him in and broke him in two. She faced the corpse on the ground before facing the terrifying sight.

The dress was open on the back where it showed several horizontal and vertical scars, some still bleeding, the sleeves were torn and the arms contained purple burn marks, the face was to the other side. The Ahsoka’s body hurt every step forward, when she finally saw the face opened her mouth in total amazement, the eyes shed tears on both cheeks. Barriss' face was full of purple and yellow bruises, the corner of her mouth had a line of blood that ran down to the beginning of her neck, her hair was messy and stuck to her skin because of the sweat, she was unconscious.

Ahsoka ran the saber through the electric current that held it in the air and grabbed her in arms, even feeling that it was touching the scars Barriss did not wake up or make any sound of pain, but Soka knew that she was still alive. The togruta balanced the body of the mirialan in the arms and began to advance, left the room marked by the destruction that had left and walked through the corridor in silence, the body swayed to the rhythm of the walk. Ahsoka heard voices and when she raised her face, she saw Anakin with the haunted look, next to him was Luminara and Obi-wan who spotted Barriss and began to move.

"Approach the cruiser, we find Barriss Offee badly injured." Obi-wan spoke to the communicator again and again.

They paved the way for Ahsoka to pass, the silence was made in the midst of the Jedi, like a deep meditation, or a funeral.

In the hangar of that ship, a small medical ship descended and the droids approached with a stretcher, Ahsoka placed Barriss' body slowly and watched it go away and stayed there until she felt Anakin’s hand on her shoulder and warm voice.

"They’ll take care of her now, come on Snips."

*******

The visiting bench in the medical area was highly uncomfortable for Ahsoka’s body, but she was there when she could, holding Barriss' hand and when no one was looking, kissing her fingers wishing she would open her blue eyes and smile at her, but many nights passed before she could get an answer from Barriss. It was a starry night, the sky had hardly any clouds, all the stars seemed to show themselves more and more.

"Excuse me?"

Ahsoka turned around with one of her biggest smiles, with heavy breathing approaching the bed, she tried to touch Barriss' face, but realized that there was an expression of panic, even though she was looking into the eyes that always softened when she saw her presence.

"Could you tell me where I am, please?" Her voice didn’t sound like the real Barriss.

The togruta backed her hands and pulled out of bed to push the button to call the doctor droid and leave the room.

She waited in the hallway with her arms crossed, only raised her face when she heard the doctor droid approaching.

"Physically, she’s totally healthy."

"Physically?" Ahsoka asked.

"The torture led to a certain type of collapse in the patient’s brain, and this caused a loss of memory. And unfortunately the patient doesn’t remember nothing before the event." the droid made a programming noise. "She couldn’t remember her own name."

_Nothing before the event..._

"It’s possible that the memory will return with the passage of time, to see something of the routine, but there are cases that the patient can remain in a state of oblivion forever. If you can inform her of things like name, planet of birth, professions..."

"May I see her?"

The droid made a programming sound before the algorithm responded.

"Yes."

She was sitting on the bed looking at the marks on her arms, when she realized Ahsoka’s presence entered a discreet defensive position.

"I think we are not properly introduced." Soka tried a trembling smile. "My name is Ahsoka... And your name is Barriss."

The mirialan’s mouth opened pulling air trying to understand that, but did not understand and just stared at the floor.

"I know you don’t remember." Ahsoka pulled the stool and sat down. "But don’t be afraid, I am a friend."

_Friend._

Barriss bent her lips on a smile and Ahsoka did her best to keep hers.


	2. Part two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi  
> thank you very much for the comments in the previous chapter.  
> here’s the second part of this fanfic, i really hope it’s good enough for you guys to like it.  
> please remember that english is not my mother tongue so there may be mistakes, i apologize for each of them.  
> a special thank you to all the tumblr people i have spoken to in recent times. you guys are amazing, i love you all.  
> 

Ahsoka knew the way very well, but that day, everything seemed very gloomy, there was no one in the corridors even if it was in the middle of the afternoon. She pressed the lock button and entered the room, took a deep breath when she felt that the smell of Barriss was still there, everything of her was still the way she had left it. The togruta left her backpack on the bed and entered the bathroom finding the last pots of mirialans herbs, she had prepared and did as always saw Barriss doing. She took the pots and wrapped them in a soft fabric to finally put in the backpack. Next to the wall was a sculpture of a Mirialan god and she also carefully guarded along with some incense. Barriss didn’t have many things, the art of detachment was essential to being a Jedi.

_Detachment._

The word danced in Ahsoka’s mind for a moment, until she spotted two books on top of a small table by the bed, walked there and touched the cover of one, when she opened felt the feel of the old pages.

"Snips?" She turned and saw the old master. Anakin carried a simple smile. He approached and set his gaze on the books "Where Will Barriss Go?"

Ahsoka sighed.

The right phrase would be: Where will you two go?

Soka knew she couldn’t leave Barriss, knew she couldn’t endure life inside the temple without her, was aware that continuing the title of Jedi Knight would be unfair and irresponsible, could not concentrate on some mission knowing that Barriss would be lucky to "not meet the demand of the temple".

"I will look for a planet... That Barriss can settle down and maybe try to lead a normal life..." closed the book and caught the other going toward the backpack "I’ll stay with her."

She was on her back but could sense Anakin’s confusion.

"What?"

"I can’t leave Barriss alone, that would be cruel."

"She won’t be alone, the council would pick a good spot so she could stay and would probably help her for a long time" Ahsoka frowned, few were the times she had seen Anakin in that position and it disappointed her, because even with a little doubt, she thought he would support her decision. And worst of all, he hadn’t just said, "You can’t let your emotions control you, Ahsoka. "

This time, she took a defensive pose.

"Like you always do?" Ahsoka’s tone was cruel, but Anakin had no right to be a hypocrite like that, she stared into his eyes and continued the speech "I just can’t stand here enjoying my privileges while the Council decides where to send Barriss to stay on her own. I wonder what would happen if it were another creature of the Order, if it would be discarded that way, just because it chose a different way to go on as Jedi." She took a deep breath and took the lightsaber out of her waist. "I can’t leave Barriss alone, Master."

Anakin could have been more ruthless than his former padawan, he could have quoted the Jedi code, he could have made Ahsoka doubt whether the feelings for Barriss really were worth it, but he couldn’t be hypocritical like that, So he took a pair of lightsabers and let the togruta pass him by going towards the door, but he remembered that before he got there he had made a promise to someone and had to keep it. "Ahsoka." He called once more and turned to her reaching out his hand "Padme asked me to give you this. It’s one floor down, you’ll be comfortable."

Soka was in shock for a moment, she had already imagined driving a ship until she found a safe planet where she could stay with Barriss, but there was a key to an apartment on the upper level of Coruscant.

She sighed.

"Thank you, Master, thank you."

And the only thing he said before she left the temple was "May the force be with you".

Ahsoka opened the key to the apartment and let Barriss in first.

Comfortable. It had been Anakin’s word, but it was too luxurious, the large balcony that brought plenty of light to the living room that contained a spacious sofa full of pillows, in one corridor was the bedrooms, bathrooms and in another the entrance to the kitchen. Padmé had still handed over an apartment that had a small space for Ahsoka to work as a mechanic.

"What’s her name?" Barriss asked as she opened the curtains of her room.

"Padme." Ahsoka answered from where she was standing.

Barriss smiled only with her lips and looked around, put her hands close to her body and walked to Ahsoka. At the time, she looked up to find the togruta’s eyes and when she held her hands, Soka nearly trembled.

"Thank you very much. I would never have thought that you liked me so much that you wanted to take care of me here. Thank you for being my friend."

Friend.

"Sure." Soka wiped her throat and put her hand away "Uh... I took the liberty and picked up some things from your room... I hope you don’t mind." She handed over her backpack and carried her hand a little shaky around her neck "The doctor droid said you might remember something if you had your old stuff... Here they are."

Barriss looked at the contents of the backpack and showed another smile.

"I’ve already put the herb pots in a kitchen cupboard."

"Thank you so much, Ahsoka... do you mind if I retire now?"

"Oh no... Good rest."

Ahsoka followed the corridor to her room and did not see Barriss putting the books in a drawer and the backpack with the other things under the bed with a promise to never touch it. 

The days passed slowly, while Barriss stayed inside the apartment the whole time, Ahsoka was locked inside the garage fixing some ship or Droid, perhaps just to pass the time, since she didn’t do it for credits and all kinds of supplement that entered the place was brought by the Padme Amidala droids who insisted on doing it, even if Soka thought too much, because the Senator had already handed over the key to this apartment.

In the first few weeks, Ahsoka tried to make Barriss remember some things, made some jokes that could have made her smile at another time, such as two months before the kidnapping and torture. Now they only spoke on certain occasions when they met in the hallway or in the kitchen where Barriss said he felt good to be. Neither the books on mirialan medicine, nor the glasses with oils, herbs and some mixtures made Barriss' mind work to remember how to use them. In a kitchen cupboard they were all packed together with a first aid bag that in the old days Mirialan would hate to use, but nowadays, if there’s a scratch, it heals with a simple ointment.

Ahsoka had also not spoken much to her ex-master, not after the discussion they had. The togruta’s heart was heavy with all this, she wanted to make a joke with Anakin about anything, because she knew he would laugh. But of all the old temple habits, she would very much like to hug Barriss from behind and kiss her neck just as she did when she was distracted, like to touch the green-toned body, all of it, Ahsoka missed every inch of Barriss' skin, she wanted to kiss her and touch her and more than anything, she wanted to hear the sounds that the mirialan would make in response.

"Ahsoka?" the soft voice sounded through the garage, she was next to the door and smiled a little. "I prepared dinner, don’t you want to join me now?"

Soka finally came out of her reveries and responded in the same soft tone as Barriss.

"Sure, after I clean up, I’ll join you."

Barriss said something before leaving, but Ahsoka could not understand and just sighed finishing cleaning the piece before fitting into that part of the ship he was assembling.

"At least you’re here." She whispered to herself before she got up and put her hand on the wall touching the wall and turned off the lights without realizing that the part was not properly connected to the engine.

***

It was already late when Ahsoka felt a certain presence before the front door, when she opened met her former master with his fist raised, she frowned before asking.

"Hello, master. What are you doing here?"

"Ahsoka." he sighed. "I have something to show you. Do you have a moment?"

At that time?

Soka thought, opened her mouth to say something similar, but did not say, just nodded and answered something different.

"Let me just see how Barriss is doing."

Anakin shook his head as the togruta walked towards Barriss' bedroom, who slept quietly in the center of the bed, she smiled at the scene and closed the door carefully.

"Come on."

They took the elevator in silence, so when they went out the hallway upstairs Anakin put his hand on Ahsoka’s shoulder.

"Before we go in, I need to apologize to you, Snips." He sighed one more time. "I shouldn’t have said that."

"Master, it’s all right." Soka said quietly. "I apologize for being rude like that."

Anakin smiled at me.

"I need you to stay calm about what I’m going to show you."

Ahsoka agreed and a door opened behind Anakin revealing Senator Amidala’s apartment and the view the togruta had froze her entire body. She did not move when she saw the two children in the Senator’s lap, did not move when the blond-haired boy ran towards Anakin who grabbed him in his arms while laughing, only to move when the dark-brown-haired girl approached with a serious face.

"Hello, my name is Leia."

And then she realized her chin was down.

"Uh... hi... my name is Ahsoka i..."

"I know. My father has spoken enough about you." The child’s voice was fine as it should be, but there was a certain firmness in tone. "You can pick me up if you want."

Without saying a word, Ahsoka bent over and took the girl in her arms.

"Relax, Snips." Anakin said touching her back encouraging her to enter the apartment.

Soka went ahead with the child in her lap and when they arrived in the room she felt a small hand touching the montrais of her Lekku and when she turned to see what it was, she finally heard the boy’s voice.

"Oh, I’m sorry. I like your head. It’s a lot of colors." And he had a sweet voice and spoke slowly because he didn’t have the same dominance as his sister.

"It’s okay, it’s really many colors." Ahsoka smiled on the side. "What’s your name?"

"Luke."

"All right." Padme interrupted the conversation. "I think your father has a lot to talk about with Ahsoka. Come on, it’s way past your bedtime."

The children were put on the ground and each grabbed a hand of Padme walking toward another room and when they were alone in the room, Ahsoka noticed the use of the Senator’s words.

Father.

"I know it’s a lot to understand." He pointed out the couch for both of you to sit on. "But I promise to explain."

"Deep down I knew, I think." She frowned. "When?"

"It was before you were my Padawan, the twins came four years later when you were eighteen."

"How did you manage to keep this away from the temple?"

"Lucky, I guess," his smile was tired this time. "The truth is, I know I can’t keep it a secret forever, eventually the truth will come out..."

"Are you afraid of it?"

There was a little silence between them, Ahsoka already knew the answer, but she needed to hear it.

"Yes." He took the lightsaber out of his waist and they both watched the gun. "I should have been like you and left the Order. You knew you couldn’t follow in the temple, and I’m so sure every day." The blue light of the lightsaber illuminated the space between them.

"What do you plan to do then?"

"I don’t know." Anakin replied, simply. "Don’t give up on her." He deactivated the gun.

"I’m not going to."

And once again the tired smiles took over the situation.

The arm seemed to hurt more and more as she walked to the kitchen sink, Ahsoka bit her lower lip feeling the touch of cold water with the burn, the tap was open for a moment until she heard the noise of someone clearing her throat.

"What happened, Ahsoka?" Barriss was standing at the kitchen door with the expression a little worried.

"Nothing, I just got burned in the garage."

Mirialan raised her eyebrows and opened her mouth for a brief moment.

"Oh, so sit down, I’ve got the right medicine for it somewhere around here."

Ahsoka sat in a chair next to the table while Barriss was rummaging through something in the kitchen cupboard, and Soka noted that the burn smelled nasty, but only stopped looking when Mirialan sat next to her holding the first aid box, the disappointment went through her heart to realize that Barris still did not remember how to use Mirial’s mixtures.

"How did this happen?" she stretched her arm and Soka let out a grunt of pain. "Sorry."

"It’s all right." Ahsoka started to fix a spot on the table and said again, "I was testing the part of the ship I was riding. I guess I didn’t fit the piece right and it just exploded, I couldn’t get far enough away."

Barriss' blue eyes widened but recovered to begin to heal the wound.

"Well, I don’t know about machines." They both laughed and remained silent for a moment. "I was thinking, Ahsoka" put the ointment on the wound carefully so as not to hurt the sensitive skin "I wonder if you don’t have someone."

Soka averted her eyes from the table and landed on the concentrated face of Barriss who was already bandaging her arm.

"What?"

"You’re pretty, Ahsoka," she said without averting her eyes from the bandage, "Since you don’t have the temple obligations, you should look for someone."

Well, the togruta couldn’t answer that for a while, so she put her other arm on the table and her fingertips touched her forehead.

"I... I had someone." She frowned her lips and sighed "But she doesn’t remember who I am."

"Oh, has she lost her memory too? " she was tying the knot tight when you couldn’t hold your laughter and went, "Well, I see you’re surrounded by people who are lost."

Ahsoka touched the hand of Barriss who was finishing the bandage, the eyes of the two met for a brief second.

"Yeah, I think so."

She left the kitchen and when she knocked the door of her room, Barriss asked herself if what she had spoken had hurt Ahsoka’s feelings so much.

The dinner had passed and Ahsoka had not left the room, Barriss was worried, before retiring separated a clean bandage, an ointment in a container and placed in another compartment of the tray that the food was and took to the room.

"Come in" heard the voice after lightly knocking on the door.

"Dinner" put the tray on the table next to the bed.

Barriss looked forward and finally noticed Ahsoka looking out the window, the light of the city left the body of the togruta in a shadow, she was standing with her arms crossed, the image was not strange.

"Hum, I put new bandages here and an ointment... Ahsoka about what I said..."

"It’s all right, Barriss... thank you."

Mirialan nodded in silence.

"Good night."

Ahsoka did not respond, but upon hearing the entrance close she felt a tear descend down her cheek in silence, she finally looked back and stared at the door.

"I’m not giving up on you".

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> leave a coment if you want :)


	3. Part Three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi  
> i decided to post that last part today because i ended up discovering that next month i will have limited internet and also will not have time to enter here.  
> As you know, english is not my mother tongue, so there will be mistakes (mainly because i haven’t had time to review) and i apologize for each of them.  
> i would like to thank you for the comments, favorites and for all the views.  
> thank you so much for reading and i’m sorry about anything, because this is the first fanfic with more than one chapter i’ve written since 2014 lol and i still intend to write more about them, because i love these two with all my heart..  
> this chapter is the end, but while you’re reading i’ll be posting an extra, quite short one actually.  
> remember to read the tags, here will be some sensitive content for some audiences, and if it is, you can skip the paragraphs.  
> i really hope it’s good enough.

_A plague plagued the lives of the Wookiees on that planet, they were getting sick fast, dying fast, the disease made their bodies full of purple bruises, caused internal bleeding to death. The duty of Barriss and Luminara, as well as the other apprentices there, was to help those creatures._

_And on one of the days when Barriss bandaged the wound of a Wookie that she had already cleaned, heard blaster shots from outside the tent, the patients inside the medical area agitated and one of the guards came screaming in his language._

_Barriss did not understand very well, confused the words, but Master Luminara calmed the creature and heard what he had to say._

_"Attention everyone! There’s an invasion! Please prepare the stretchers and take them to a safe place." Wookie interrupted saying something. "Right. He will show an exit between the forests that will serve as shelter for a while! Barriss! Grab your lightsaber!"_

_The saber was on her waist and soon stopped in her hand. The two came out of the tent and saw shadows approaching, shadows taking shape. Barriss had already read about those pirates and they were not just there for the fun of raiding the place, they knew the Wookies' service. The Jedi deflected their fire with their lightsabers when they heard an explosion on the side where the patients and apprentices had gone. They felt death and from the sight of the creatures around them as well, the roar they let out was shrill in the ear of any nearby living being, Barriss found herself running toward the blast._

_"Barriss! What are you doing?" Luminara said rushing to reach her._

_"They didn’t make it to the safe house, but maybe we can."_

_The shadows just kept moving, they couldn’t fight, it would put more lives at risk. With a similar sound from the natives, Master Luminara called the last two Wookies who had not been hit. Everyone ran, reached the site, a cave among several plants, the shadows were very close, if everyone entered, the pirates would also enter._

_"Come on in!"_

_Barriss shouted, her former master faced her and stood there at the entrance to the cave, if all was lost, someone must survive. With force, she pushed the master into the cave and caused a small avalanche that sealed the entrance with the falling rocks._

_You didn’t get a chance to turn around and defend yourself because you took a hit in the never and everything went black._

_Her body hurt, her neck hurt, her arms hurt._

_When she opened her eyes, she let out a grunt of pain and repented at the same moment, when an electric current passed through her body._

_"I see you’re awake." She did not face the owner of the voice right away, her head seemed to weigh too much, so he came up to her and pulled her chin up, the pirate Weequay smiled at Barriss to see that she could barely keep her eyes open. "Perhaps, you still need an incentive." He loosened Mirialan’s chin and pressed the shock button again._

_Barriss screamed at the pain. Her heart began to beat so hard that she could swear she was feeling it going up her throat._

_She couldn’t think of anything but the people inside the cave, if they were safe, if they got help._

_"Now tell me, why would the Jedi Council send only two knights to Kashyyyk? Why disrupt my work this time of year?"_

_Everything was spinning, but she united all the forces she had and even facing the ground, she replied._

_"Enslaving Wookiees is not work." The pirate laughed and approached again._

_"Should I pay a visit to the planet Mirial, then?"_

_It was Barriss' turn to laugh._

_"You’d get poisoned by any of us." Her cheek burned, her lip was quite wet suddenly, the slap had made the galaxy turn again, the pirate held her face tighter this time._

_"You won’t do any good. You’re insolent. But surely your lightsaber will be worth a lot on the black market. And you’re gonna have a lot of fun with my boys."_

_That creature never came back, he just pressed the shock button one more time and left the cell._

_She felt it when someone tore the back of her dress, felt it when they ripped her sleeves, screamed and cried when she felt the first lashes, agonized when they burned her arms. The tears mingled with the sweat, the more the hours or days passed, the more her mind gifted her eyes with happy images._

_She reading in the temple library, she talking to Master Luminara, she meditating... She embraced Ahsoka in her bed after they finally got along after a fight._

_Barriss managed to smile through it._

_As she felt the burning in her back and arms, the blood descending and the wounds opening._

_When she finally closed her eyes, she had accepted that she would find all the people he loved elsewhere._

The sweat descended from her temple, waking up in the dark room made her heart beat even more, she needed air and some light. By some miracle she managed to get out of bed and open the balcony door, the icy wind automatically shook her skin, the mirialan would like to go to the railing, but not yet, instead she looked back and focused on the drawer that she avoided so much in recent times, It’s about time, she already knew the origin of the scars, but she needed to know.

Why did that togruta mean so much?

Ahsoka could not sleep, it was something that happened frequently, now with the arm bothering it could be worse, the heat of the covers was already bothering the body and this made the togruta get up and wrap in a robe to take something and check the sleep of Barriss. She walked down the hall and felt the cold ground, realized that she had not put her shoes on, but would not come back so she opened the door and found the bed empty and the balcony door open with the curtains flying.

A twinge of desperation passed through Ahsoka’s body, she walked quickly towards the balcony and found Barriss standing watching the city and the few ships still running.

"Barriss" Soka spoke touching the shoulders of Mirialan "It’s late, you better go back to bed."

Barriss who was also wearing a robe and her loose hair swaying by the shoulders turned to Ahsoka, she was holding something close to the chest, at first Soka could not see what it was exactly, but then when Mirialan opened her hand and understood the chain, the togruta got her eyes wide open.

"Tano" Barriss whispered still staring at the ground, Ahsoka’s body froze, it seemed that the entire galaxy had held its breath at that moment, the mirialan raised her eyes and revealed watery eyes and then whispered once more "Ahsoka... Tano."

She took her free hand of green tone to Ahsoka’s face and dried the tear that descended from her cheek, they had so much to say, they wanted to scream, the tears were blinding to both eyes, when the togruta was able to gather all the strength she had left to speak.

"I missed you so much, my love."

Ahsoka took Barriss in her arms and hugged her so tight that the bodies touched the iron railing on the balcony. The two continued to shed tears even if their eyes were closed. The mirialan still had the haunted look, she could feel the whole vibration coming from Ahsoka, was afraid to open her eyes and return to that dark room, where she felt the worst pains of her life. She needed to feel something good. Then she turned her face to Soka’s neck and still with her eyes closed kissed there, then kissed her cheek and when she felt that Ahsoka was moving in the embrace, she finally opened her eyes and found a sea of tears descending on Soka’s face.

Barriss was safe, she was close to Ahsoka Tano, who had long been her girlfriend and if it wasn’t too late, she might still be.

"I’m sorry." She was still crying, simply the tears refused to stop coming down "I’m sorry, Ahsoka" Barriss felt Soka’s hands on her waist tremble, blinked a few times and on a voice string he said, once again, only in the right way "I’m sorry it took so long, my love."

Ahsoka faced the face of Barriss, the green face with the square freckles adorning the skin and making it perfect. That was her real Barriss.

She climbed up her hands from the waist and held Mirialan’s neck, when they lips touched, Ahsoka could swear that her heart would come out, but instead just continued with the slow kiss and full of inexplicable feelings, Barriss' hands touched the back of the Lekku and there he made affections that the togruta knew were familiar. When the air failed, Ahsoka kissed Barriss' lower lip who smiled at the action.

They remained silent, only with their foreheads held, their breaths normalizing, the cold of the night creeping the skin of their bodies, Ahsoka searched for the hand of Barriss who still held the chain and held it firmly while a smile was still on his face.

"I’m so happy... I’ve waited so long for this." She confessed shamelessly, she was overflowing with feelings. "I missed you so much."

Barriss opened the biggest of his smiles and whispered "I’d like to reward you, I’d like to pay for all this time."

Ahsoka wheezed and kissed Mirialan again with more urgency this time, the fitted mouths made perfect movements, the togruta raised the woman in green tone and walked inside. When Barriss lay in bed, she reached back and with the Force she closed the door to the balcony and closed the curtains, She swerved her mouth away from her girlfriend’s lips and began a wet trail down her jaw and neck as her hands opened her robe showing the body that Soka missed so much. The kisses continued, but now they followed the clavicle and headed towards the breasts, a sound came out of Barriss' mouth, but Ahsoka made sure it was not a sound of pleasure and stopped immediately.

Barriss squeezed her lips, there were tears overflowing from her closed eyes.

"Barriss." Ahsoka called quietly, when Mirialan showed the blue iris, it looked more like an ocean. "What’s wrong?"

"I don’t know... I’m trying... I swear."

Ahsoka just dried the tears that Mirialan shed and kissed her face until the crying stopped and the breathing returned to normal.

"I’m sorry, my love."

Soka smiled with just her lips and kissed her cheek (as she didn’t think it was safe to kiss her mouth) and closed her robe just as calmly as before.

"We have the time." She stood pulling her girlfriend to stay too, so she held her face and confessed her love one more time "I’ll wait until you’re ready again, okay? No matter how many rotations, days, months or years. I’ll wait for you. I love you, Barriss Offee."

"I love you so much more, Ahsoka Tano."

When they hugged, they felt each other’s warmth and then Mirialan asked.

"Do you want to spend the night here?"

It was early in the morning, it was sure to be a few hours before dawn, but even so togruta kissed her girlfriend’s forehead and replied.

"Of course."

*******

Ahsoka drank tea sitting at the kitchen table when Barriss appeared on the door dressed in a bathrobe, her hair was wet and she smiled. The togruta got up and went to meet her girlfriend, felt the cold skin of the bath and kissed her gently.

"Sit down, I’ll get you some tea."

And so she did, Mirialan tried some of the hot drink and when she put the cup on the table she stared at Soka’s face with furrowed eyebrows, took a deep breath before speaking.

"Ahsoka" and just by the tone, Togruta knew something was wrong. "There’s something about me you don’t know."

"What?" she looked for Barriss' hand on the table. "You can say, trust me."

"Okay... uh... I... did something." Bit her lower lip and closed her eyes for a few seconds. "When you handed me the backpack with my things I made a promise... that promise... It was basically..." she let go of Ahsoka’s hand and stood up to hide her face.

"Barriss, it’s okay. Breathe."

Mirialan lowered her hands and stared at a spot on the table and closed her eyes before putting out what she had to say.

"I made a promise not to remember."

"Oh." It was the only sound that came out of Ahsoka’s mouth while the silence was installed.

"I didn’t want to remember who I was, what caused these scars on my body. I didn’t want to know why I woke up in the hospital feeling discomfort... I didn’t want to know why you insist so much on taking care of me... I knew that we probably both had a history, as friends maybe... and that was enough... I... "she interrupted her own speech to observe Ahsoka walking in the kitchen, first washing the cup, then guarding and then leaving the place. Barriss got up and went to meet her who was standing in the middle of the room with her back to the door. "Ahsoka, please try to understand..."

"I understand." Her tone broke Mirialan’s heart, but the expression on her face broke even more. "It just hurts to hear it from you."

"I’m so sorry." She approached her slowly, thought to kiss Ahsoka, but instead hugged her body, as she realized the togruta was not moving, then guided her arms to her waist and let her squeeze as much as she wanted. "If there was anything I could do..."

"You can." Ahsoka spoke quickly and walked away from the deep breathing embrace "I also did something... I sent a hologram to Master Yoda telling him you’d improved."

The eyebrows of Barriss frowned.

"They would like you to introduce yourself and talk about what the pirates were doing in Kashyyyk... They want to hear your testimony."

Mirialan remained silent, she wanted to say something, but she just couldn’t, so she just gave up control of the situation.

"OK."

"Are you sure about this?"

"Yes." She frowned again and stared at Ahsoka "Could we promise something?"

"What?"

"No secrets." She took the hand from Togruta. "I want to do it right. I don’t want to lose you again."

Soka had already gotten rid of the bad feeling from before, just nodded and hugged her girlfriend.

It was strange to walk through the corridors of the temple and still see people greeting each other as if they were still Jedi, but they said nothing, just waved back. The elevator climbed to the level where they would find Master Yoda, but before they had the surprise of seeing Anakin Skywalker leave the room where the master resided, they realized that he did not have his lightsaber, but they also said nothing.

He smiled when he saw them both.

"I’m glad you’re feeling better, Barriss." That’s the first thing he said.

"Thank you, Master." They exchanged smiles.

"Were you talking to Master Yoda?" Ahsoka asked.

"Yes... I made a decision." Soka knew very well what he said. "I’d better go."

He passed them and Ahsoka called him back to say.

"Anakin... good luck."

He just smiled and got in the elevator.

"My love, do you mind if I go alone?" Barriss took Ahsoka out of her thoughts.

"Don’t want company?" Mirialan denied. "Then I’ll wait for you right here."

They couldn’t kiss there, they were aware of it, so they just shook hands and Ahsoka saw Barriss ring the hall bell before entering.

On one of the nights when the nightmares terrified her mind, she would slowly stand up and walk barefoot until she found the drawer in the middle of the darkness and took out both books.

Tears always flowed freely down her cheeks as Mirialan read the pages, she always wondered why the only books about Mirial she had were not on datapad but on paper, but every time she read them she understood why, each of those pages that spoke of soil, species of plants and animals and various, various types of healing carried the essence of every living mirialan. And Barriss, I couldn’t believe it, but she was alive.

She opened the other and passed her hand on the front page before picking up the chain that belonged to Ahsoka, but which she herself had given her when she confessed all her feelings for the first time. Barriss held it close to her heart once more and when she finally finished reading, closed the book, turned off the lamp and looked at the bed, the togruta watched her silently with a smile in the corner of her lips.

Barriss smiled back at her.

By looking at her own body and seeing all those marks knowing the meaning of each of them, it would break her heart, but die not knowing that the creature who cared for her all the time that she couldn’t tell why her name loved every part of her body, would be much crueler.

Mirialan kept them both in the drawer and returned to the arms of the creature she loved most in the galaxy.

And that, she knew very well.


	4. Final

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i’m not going to spend much time here on this opening note, i just hope you enjoy this little chapter.

A new planet, a new place to call home.

Ahsoka took a deep breath when closing the door from the inside, she did not imagine that the supply list would make her arms carry so many bags and the togruta did not like to use force for everyday mundane things. When she put everything in its place, she realized that the house was too quiet and could only feel life forms on the other side of the house.

Then followed the corridor that gave access to the greenhouse, the smell of wood, earth and leaves exploded in their nostrils as soon as they clicked on the button of the lock. The plants were piled on iron shelves, with the technology that carried water for each species, you could see floor plants up to the ceiling, with the branches decorating the glass ceiling. All that vegetation had a function that Ahsoka didn’t quite understand, but her wife did.

And it was there in the center of the greenhouse in front of a wooden table, the dirty hands of earth and sap of some plant that she had taken to make some mixture, she pulled out the orange root of a species and put it on the table, its concentration was almost palpable in the air.

The togruta smiled on her side as she watched the concentrated wife and then finally approached hugging Mirialan’s body from behind, then kissed her neck and carried her hands to the swelling that Barriss had on her belly doing a cuddle there. For a brief moment, the two stopped only to enjoy each other’s company, both with their hands resting on their bellies covered by the heavy fabric of the dress.

"Have you tried sitting in a chair?" Ahsoka said she felt the tension in Barriss' body from being there from an early age.

"You know I couldn’t sit down if I wanted to."

Soka laughed, kissed her shoulder and walked away from the hug so Barriss could turn around.

"Sit down, I can finish here."

"You don’t know how." Barriss said with the clear frown on her face, the togruta held the laughter without dodging her wife’s blue eyes. "But I’ll sit down. Finish pulling those orange roots."

Mirialan sat in a spacious chair that was next to the wall, she passed her hand on her belly again and began to do a quick math while Ahsoka pulled the roots without the same skill that Barriss had.

"Seven." Ahsoka pulled a point from the root and a jungle started to come out. "Let it rest, put it in the glass bowl." Soka pulled a container that was nearby and practically threw the plant to avoid getting dirty with the liquid that came out, it was Barriss' turn to laugh.

Soka looked at the wife sitting there, some rays of sun reflecting on her body, one hand on her belly and the other holding her cheek with the elbow resting on the arm of the chair.

"What did you say?" she held the roots and put them in the glass pot with the others.

"I did the math, if I’m not mistaken today the pregnancy completes seven months." She tilted her head to the side and bit her lower lip "It’s near."

"Are you afraid?" Ahsoka asked kneeling next to her, where she could rest her head on her thigh.

"Not exactly... am I... anxious?" snorted rolling her eyes when she saw Ahsoka making a little pout for her belly "I’m glad that you don’t do this in public."

The togruta laughed and held her belly leaning her cheek against the fabric, Barriss put her hand on her rear montral and caressed there slowly. Soka kissed her belly and then climbed up to finally kiss her wife’s lips, acted delicately feeling the movement that tongues were doing slowly and would have continued if she had not felt a ship entering the atmosphere.

"I felt it too."

"It’s the children’s."

Ahsoka helped Barriss get up and the two of them went down the aisle towards the front door and outside they had the timing of still seeing the ramp go down and the voices of the 12-year-old children fill in, they argued about something and the couple soon noticed the lightsabers on their waist.

"What’s going on?" Ahsoka asked first.

"They’ve been on the same thing since we left Naboo." Padmé was going down the ramp with the help of Anakin said in a playful tone.

"Agree with me, I was born first, I have the right to learn how to fly before Leia does." Luke spoke while Leia stood idly by.

"But why would you drive first if our father said I learn faster?" the two still said something in awkward voices until they calmed down and Leia asked "What do you think?"

The couple looked at each other.

"I don’t know if we have an opinion on that." It was Barriss' turn to try as hard as she could to suppress laughter. "But I must remember that Ahsoka also knows how to fly very well. She could teach one while Anakin would teach the other."

The twins opened their mouths to complain, but the proposal made sense.

"Fine." The two of them said shrugging together.

"That’s it?" Anakin put his hands on his waist. "Could you solve this argument in just minutes?"

Padmé laughed by putting her hand in front of her mouth.

Luke hugged Ahsoka out while Leia hugged Barriss and then switched places.

"Come on," Mirialan indicated the entree "Let’s make some tea and eat something."

Barriss and Padmé talked about something. Then Anakin’s old gesture of putting his hand on Ahsoka’s shoulder happened again and he asked.

"Happy, Snips?" she turned and replied smiling.

"More than ever, Skyguy."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for everything <3

**Author's Note:**

> if you like or have a criticism, please leave a comment.


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